Living Proof


Holiday Tonic

How do you feel about marimbas?


The Spanish Word for Cranberry

How effortlessly we forget the Spanish word for cranberry.


Climactic Final Scene

Star Wars: The Force Awakens. No spoilers.


When the night is young

You're not punk and I'm telling everyone


Two hits for the price of one

Another thing in this world that flusters me because I cannot understand its popularity.

Going to your Plymouth Rock Hard Place

Anxiety-ridden libertarians who explain they can trace their family histories back to the Mayflower in an effort to distance themselves from the immigrant experience.

Watermelon, Watermelon

Seedless cheat sheet


Everyday is Christmas

Disappointed a monsoon did not happen in my parts this hot afternoon, I distract myself by meditating on what Sade's 1985 single The Sweetest Taboo might sound like if interpreted by trained collies.


When they fly, they jerk around in the air like they can't actually fly, like they're dreaming they're flying and that's what flying looks like in their little bat dreams.

Down Our Throats

Love the smacker, hate the smack.